i care too much.

i have a habit of driving myself crazy. i do it to myself, i'm aware that i do it and i absolutely hate it, but for some reason that hasn't stopped me from continuing to do so.
and i hate being sensitive, even though i try not to be. [that actually probably makes it worse.]
it's hard for me to open up to someone and when i do, i let things that shouldn't really matter get to me too easily. that's the main reason why i don't.
i hate misinterpreting things. i hate assuming..even though i've tried really hard to stop doing so, it still happens every once in a while. i hate having to guess.

things will get better because they have to.

life..

i'm on the fence whether or not to move forward or just stay where i am.
it's a weird feeling..like i'm torn in half and i want things that are on both sides but i can't have that, i have to choose one.
theres things happening around me that i'd like to be a part of, and i feel like at this point in my life, i SHOULD be a part of. but with my current situation it just isn't going to work.
i wish someone could just tell me what's going to happen or what to do because having to guess is just wearing me down.
i need something to change soon and all i can do is try to make it happen because sitting back and letting fate run it's course hasn't gotten me very far.

story of my life.

two steps forward, three steps back.never seems to fail.

this kindof thing just makes me want to go back to the way i was. not trusting anyone again, it's so much safer.

suprise.

"you'll be fine just treat the situation like its just for fun and try not to put your heart too much into it"

sometimes you get the best advice from the most unlikely source.

so simple.

sometimes the thing that makes more sense than anything else is to stop trying to figure it out, and just let it happen.
i haven't felt this at ease in a long time. or this happy.
thank you.

hmm..

sometimes i find myself thinking about where i was at this point last year. or two years ago, or five. and then i think about where i'll be this time next year, or two..or ten.
there is nothing in my past that i want to go back to, although at the time i thought i knew where i was heading and where i'd end up.

the truth is, i have no idea where i'm going to be two months from now, let alone two years. i'm excited for the future even though i don't know what's in store for me. i just know that i won't be where i've been and that's a good thing in my eyes.

but it's not just about me, this includes others too. theres always going to be people who come in and out of your life, some you'll never talk to or see again, and some that will stick around forever. it all happens for a reason, whether you like it or not. and right now, i feel like i have a really good set of people in my life and i'm very grateful for them.

<3

oh crap.

sometimes my horroscope freaks me out.

Taurus:
Keep on trusting your instincts. They serve you well when you are trying to assess what's really going on. Your ability to judge a person's true motivations is generally on the money. Your inner voice will also help you spot a potential Soulmate.


ahhhh, i guess we'll see..