lightbulb.

"old habits die hard."

almost too true. but maybe the lesson here is not how hard it may be, but instead that it is possible for them to "die". there will always be points in life where we come to a cross road, but it's how you handle them that makes all the difference. and maybe, when a habit seems too hard to break..it's because it's not ready to "die" yet. but if you want it bad enough, one day it will become one of the easiest and smartest moves you'll make.

if you trust anyone, trust me.

After a while...

"You learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth, and you learn and you learn.
With every good-bye you learn."

FINGERS CROSSED.

this could be big. :)

:)

i could make a loss of a good thing
try to think it through, think of everything
i'll never get engaged with a mood ring
and that's why i need you

i'll never look for love it will find me
take me by suprise it will blind me
i never know it could be right behind me
and that's why i need you

she don't know what to do
she won't call me
i'll never know everything
but i know you love me

and i will never lose to you
i can't do a thing without you

i know i need a heart like the one you have
i know i need a love like my mom and dad's
i'll try to stay cool when things get bad
and that's why i have you

no matter where we are
you know everything about me

and i will never lose to you
i can't do a thing without you

hurts so good.

there's a lot of things i don't understand
so many people lie, it's the hurt i hide
that fuels the fire inside me.

when the world treats you way too fairly..

"the most destructive lies are the ones we tell to ourselves."

i could follow you to the beginning
just to re-live the start
maybe then we'd remember to slow down
at all of our favorite parts...

2009

"what's left to lose? you've done enough. and if you fail well then you fail, but not to us. cause these last three years, i know they've been hard. but now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun. even if it's alone."

except this time, i'm not alone. this year has been one of self discovery, to say the least. i was pulled and pushed in every direction imaginable..and i ended up here.
but maybe that's the whole point.

welcome, 2010.