rewind

I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to shake this.
is there a time in everyone's life where they begin to question everything that's led them to where they are now? if they took the right paths and made the right decisions at any particular time..it's hard to imagine life any different because those decisions have become stones that can never be moved.
at some point, i think everyone deals with this..in their own ways.
am i where i am supposed to be?
if not, then how did i end up here?
sometimes it feels so right and others i just feel so out of place. like i'm looking at myself from the outside, wondering if this was 'the plan.'
how can there be such extreme oppositions? sometimes it is so conflicting i can't even stand to keep analyzing it..which of course i continue to do because apparently second guessing myself is a hobby i've picked up in the last few years.
and then i wonder, if i've just settled with this life, because i got comfortable here. but who really wants that?...
and on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, sometimes i feel like there is nowhere else i should be. like this life i've picked is playing out as it's supposed to and everything seems to be falling into place. i wouldn't say it's even... most of the time i feel this way, as though everything is a blessing and i'm finding my way. so then i should'nt ever feel the opposite right? that's what makes me question it. maybe everyone has doubts, and just doesn't focus on it as much as i seem to. and then i get stuck in these rambles that take up hours upon hours and most importantly, my sleep.
and maybe sometimes i just need to write it all out to get it the hell out of my head so i can focus on more important things. like this:

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."

Live

"do what you love, with people that are genuine, and happiness will become effortless" :)

Never take a thing for granted and you will never have regrets.
Every day is a gift, every moment is a blessing. I promise to never forget that, and I promise to be here.
Give everything <3

This is the house that doubt built.

Don't get me started on what it means to be alive
you're lying to yourself if you sound and act surprised
could you stand become the source of what you are
the wolves in sheep's clothing will only lead so far so find your way
and you'll go cause in the end we all end up alone so just wait you'll know

forget everything just for tonight we'll sing like everyone when their alone
cause I've been waiting for tonight to sing whoa, whoa

I rely on myself just making sure that was clear I'm not in need of your crutches
I face all my face fears and I want what I knew I could have
life is not a monster make the best of what you have

don't wait just go
and when you find yourself let me know
it's not too late just let go

forget everything just for tonight we'll sing like everyone when their alone
cause I've been waiting for tonight to sing whoa, whoa

let's believe that if we all stand together we're a force that can shake the whole world
for once we're doing something right when we say whoa, whoa

in the end it's not about what you have
in the end it's all about where you wanna go
and route you take to get there I hope you think that's fair

cause you've only got one life to lead so don't take for granted those little things
those little things are all that we have

forget everything just for tonight we'll sing like everyone when their alone
cause I've been waiting for tonight to sing whoa, whoa

let's believe that if we all stand together we're a force that can shake the whole world
for once we're doing something right when we say whoa, whoa

(I say whoa whoa whoa whoa)

can't forget everything

cause I've been waiting for tonight to sing whoa, whoa

resolution 2011

this year i'd like to make some changes to simplify my life and just make things a little less stressful. 2010 was eventful, to say the least..but i feel like i let myself get caught up in things that i wouldn't normally give a second thought to, and basically i just feel like i got distracted. i'd like to get back on track, and become the best version of myself, mainly for me, but also for the people that are a part of my everyday life. i want to be able to just 'go with the flow' more..relax and enjoy life more because it can't be taken for granted and i'm just not going to allow that to happen this year and forward. i'm going to take charge and get my life together, and i couldn't be happier about it. :)
this is a year of big changes for me, i can feel it. i'm excited to see what the future has to offer and rather than rushing it, i'm just going to take it as it comes and accept it.

hello 2011, i've been waiting for you.

<3

Sometimes change is necessary..

"The key to change is to let go of fear."

whoa.

i do not wish for a lighter load, just for a stronger back..

it's not the load that breaks you down, its the way you carry it.

do i trust my heart? i trust my mind..

"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens."

easier said than done, but i'm giving it a shot.