rewind

I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to shake this.
is there a time in everyone's life where they begin to question everything that's led them to where they are now? if they took the right paths and made the right decisions at any particular time..it's hard to imagine life any different because those decisions have become stones that can never be moved.
at some point, i think everyone deals with this..in their own ways.
am i where i am supposed to be?
if not, then how did i end up here?
sometimes it feels so right and others i just feel so out of place. like i'm looking at myself from the outside, wondering if this was 'the plan.'
how can there be such extreme oppositions? sometimes it is so conflicting i can't even stand to keep analyzing it..which of course i continue to do because apparently second guessing myself is a hobby i've picked up in the last few years.
and then i wonder, if i've just settled with this life, because i got comfortable here. but who really wants that?...
and on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, sometimes i feel like there is nowhere else i should be. like this life i've picked is playing out as it's supposed to and everything seems to be falling into place. i wouldn't say it's even... most of the time i feel this way, as though everything is a blessing and i'm finding my way. so then i should'nt ever feel the opposite right? that's what makes me question it. maybe everyone has doubts, and just doesn't focus on it as much as i seem to. and then i get stuck in these rambles that take up hours upon hours and most importantly, my sleep.
and maybe sometimes i just need to write it all out to get it the hell out of my head so i can focus on more important things. like this:

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."